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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24721855">Midnight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/maximumdanger/pseuds/maximumdanger'>maximumdanger</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The World We Build (She Ra) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Nightmares, One Shot, Post-Canon, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) Season 5 Spoilers, Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:33:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,210</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24721855</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/maximumdanger/pseuds/maximumdanger</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Catra has a nightmare about Shadow Weaver, and Adora wakes up to comfort her before she spirals too far.</p>
<p>One of a planned four (or more) part series centered around Catra and Adora's adjustment to life on Etheria post-Season 5. Can be read as a one-shot or as part of the series.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora/Catra (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The World We Build (She Ra) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1789738</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>144</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Midnight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Special thanks to several of my IRL friends for offering edits and suggestions for this fic! I'm still new to writing fanfiction, so please feel free to leave any constructive criticism you have for me in the comments.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Panic rose up in Catra's throat as she felt darkness closing in around her. Sharp, blackened tendrils wrapped around her arms and legs. They ran up her torso and wound around her neck. They dug into the skin, causing blood to surface, lifted her unnaturally into the air. A chill ran down her spine, if not from the cool wind whipping violently around her, then from the cold-blooded laughter of the dark shape before her. It pulled Catra closer, forcing her body stiffly upright. Tears welled up in her eyes as she gazed upon the emotionless mask that faced her.</p>
<p>"You are still such a weak, ungrateful child, Catra," Shadow Weaver's melodic voice echoed painfully in Catra's ears, causing them to flick downward in an attempt to block out the sound.</p>
<p>It didn't work.</p>
<p>"You would be nothing without me," the voice continued. "I raised you up, gave you everything you had, and you never even gave me so much as a 'thank you.' What kind of child treats their caregiver the way you treated me? You could not trust me even to the very end." Catra was too paralyzed with fear to give one of her usual snarky remarks. She furiously tried to blink away her tears, gritting her teeth in an attempt to force down the heaving sobs and bile she felt rising in her dry throat. She could not look away. No matter how much she wanted to close her eyes, she was… transfixed.</p>
<p>With a sudden movement from Shadow Weaver's hands, the tendrils dug further still into Catra's skin. She cried out in pain and shock as they enclosed her further, moved to cover her completely. As they wrapped around her face, Shadow Weaver spoke once again.</p>
<p>"You were never good enough for me, Catra. Never good enough for Hordak, or for Scorpia, or for your princess friends." Inky blackness overtook Catra's eyes. Pure malice dripped from Shadow Weaver's voice as she gave her parting words.</p>
<p>"Never good enough for Adora."</p>
<p>Catra awoke with a start, the momentum of her panic setting her upright on the too-soft mattress she laid on. Her breath caught in her throat as it forced itself in and out of her lungs far, far too quickly and tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. Catra clutched at her chest as she tried to steady herself, forcing her breath to a slower, more natural state, trying to replicate what Perfuma had shown her in the meditation sessions she'd insisted Catra commit to.</p>
<p>Eventually, she was able to relax her body a bit, and looked over her shoulder to see Adora still fast asleep beside her. Catra sighed in relief at that. It had become a bit of a routine, really. Almost every night that they slept in the same room, one or both of them would wake up in a panic, and the other would quietly help her calm down and fall back asleep. It sometimes happened several times in one night. At first, Glimmer had insisted the two of them each have their own rooms since they were in no short supply at Bright Moon, but the nightmares seemed to worsen when they were apart. Besides, though Catra would never admit it, even now she'd missed Adora more than anything.</p>
<p>Catra turned to face the window looking out over the courtyard, feeling the cool summer's night breeze blow across her fur and half grown-out hair. It felt friendlier outside of her nightmare. The new stars in the sky illuminated the night in a way Etherians hadn't experienced in a thousand years, enabling her to see the shadows which fell across the remains of her former mentor's garden below. Catra shuddered and began to thrum her tail gently against the bed frame.</p>
<p>Things had changed since they'd disabled the Heart and drove Horde Prime out of Etheria. The Rebellion, She-Ra, brought people hope. Two or more of the princesses and their allies were almost always gone away to some other planet, helping to bring magic back to the universe, and their progress had been nothing to sneeze at. After centuries of isolation, Etheria now had... friends from other worlds. It was almost too much to think about. Entrapta's help was almost always needed in the way of spacecraft or in Scorpia's endeavors to rebuild her kingdom, so Catra rarely saw her, but she seemed happy to be able to build and learn and experiment with the new technologies brought back from other worlds to Etheria. Everyone seemed so happy.</p>
<p>Catra, on the other hand, was not. She was distracted mostly, but rarely gone from their world. The guilt of her actions on Etheria tethered her to the place, and even if she was better at fighting, she felt compelled to help rebuild her home world, make it strong again so that nobody could hurt it the way Hordak and Horde Prime had. The way she had.</p>
<p>Adora tried to balance the time she spent on Etheria with the time she spent on other worlds. She said she wanted to spend as much time as she could with her friends. She said she felt weaker when she wasn't with Bow, Glimmer, and Catra. But Catra wasn't stupid. She knew that the people of Etheria still needed Adora more than she did. Even after all this time, Adora still wasn't hers.</p>
<p>Catra pulled her knees to her chest, hugging them tightly and gritting her teeth. She felt furious with herself for even thinking that way. Adora loved her. She knew that. Adora said it everyday to the point where it was honestly kind of annoying, but in, like, a sweet way. So why did she still think like this? Why did she think Adora was going to leave her again? Why did she still feel so alone?</p>
<p>That familiar mixture of sadness and rage filled her as she pressed her face hard against her kneecaps, feeling her breath pick up again. Thoughts began to swirl around her as Shadow Weaver's voice once again echoed in her skull.</p>
<p>
  <em>Never good enough.</em>
</p>
<p>Scorpia and Double Trouble had said it to her face. She was a bad friend. A bad person. She'd driven everyone away in her life and what was going to stop her from doing it again? Her newly found "family?" Adora's "<em>I love you</em>"'s? Perfuma's stupid meditation? No. The only thing that could stop her was herself, and she'd proven to herself time and time again that she couldn't keep anyone around. What made this time any dif-</p>
<p>"Catra?"</p>
<p>She didn't even notice she'd begun to cry until Adora's voice cut through her murky thoughts.</p>
<p>"Catra, what's wrong? Did you have another nightmare?" said Adora, soft and sweet and somewhat brittle in the cool night air.</p>
<p>Catra tried to slow her choking sobs enough to speak but all she could manage to stutter out was, "Y-yes, but it's not- it wasn't tha-that..." before trailing off again.</p>
<p>Catra's ears perked up as she heard Adora sit up behind her, and she felt a reassuring hand on her shoulder. It helped, a little bit. Adora's hand moved upward, coming to rest on Catra's head and gently caressing the hair between her ears as she continued to let out gut-wrenching sobs that felt like they could tear her body apart with every ragged breath she managed to take. They stayed like that for a while, Adora propped up like the sturdy rock she was as Catra sat hunched over, feeling broken and defeated.</p>
<p>Catra had always hated how she cried, ever since she was a kid. It was loud and messy, and since she was a dramatic and bratty kid, everyone seemed to assume it was for attention. But she'd never faked it. Adora had always known she wasn't faking it. No matter what the Horde brainwashed her with, Adora, on some level, knew how horrible their childhood was, and knew that no matter how dramatic Catra may have been, her pain was very real. Adora. Catra couldn't even begin to describe the feelings she still had about her beloved. She didn't deserve her, she knew that. It wasn't a feeling, it was a fact. After everything she did, everything she destroyed and everyone she wronged in the name of proving to the world that she could be someone important, there was no way she deserved the love of Adora, or Bow, or Glimmer, or any of the other princesses or anyone else in the wor-</p>
<p>"Catra, I know we don't normally do this, but do you need to talk about it?" asked Adora gently, and oh, so very carefully. She paused for a beat, and then continued again, "It's like Perfuma said, right? In order to solve a problem, you have to identify it first. Not that I'm saying there's a problem, of course! I mean there is, obviously, b-but I don't mean... you know. Anyways, it seems more serious lately. I'm really, really worried about you. But you don't have to! I just mean you know-" Catra sat back up and turned to face her, cutting her off. She knew she looked like a mess, but lucky for her, Adora still couldn't see in the dark the way Catra could.</p>
<p>Catra's ears flicked downward as she angrily swiped tears from her eyes. "It was about Shadow Weaver," she replied, tail rapping against the side of their bed. A knot formed in her stomach as she watched Adora's face fall. Silence hung heavy in the air between them.</p>
<p>Dreams, nightmares, about Shadow Weaver weren't uncommon. Everyone had very mixed feelings about their former caregiver. It seemed like an unspoken rule that nobody talked about her, not even Catra or Adora. The only time Perfuma tried to bring it up when they came to visit her was met with anger and tears and an early end to their session from Catra, and, later, a tearful apology from Perfuma after Scorpia gently explained the situation more thoroughly to her. Still, the thought wore in Catra's mind, and she felt more and more guilty each time she visited and didn't bring it up, which was probably counterproductive.</p>
<p>"Oh…" came Adora's slow reply. "I'm sorry."</p>
<p>"Please, don't apologize. I'm done blaming you for the way Shadow Weaver treated me," said Catra, leaning closer to rest her head on Adora's shoulder, "and I don't want you blaming yourself for anything either."</p>
<p>"I know. It's just hard not to… have mixed feelings about her. I just… always feel like I should've done something to stop her. I shouldn't have let her treat you that way. I shouldn't have let her treat me like her prize." Catra's breath hitched as she felt Adora's shoulders tense. She lifted her head to face Adora and frowned instinctively at the sorrowful expression on her beloved's face before she began to speak again.</p>
<p>"Adora, no. You have to stop thinking like that. We were kids! What were you supposed to do, punch her? Tell her off?" Catra let out a heavy sigh. "Besides, she was kind of right. I was a brat. On some level, I… I deserved it. I still do." She didn't have time to continue before Adora shifted forward, pulling her into a tight hug.</p>
<p>"Catra, how can you even say that?" said Adora in a pained voice. "Nobody deserves that. The lies, the manipulation, everything else. None of it was okay. It wasn't fair to you. Would you say that I deserved it?"</p>
<p>Catra gulped before she wrapped her arms around Adora's waist, coming to rest her hands on her back. "Of course not."</p>
<p>"Then why is it different for you?"</p>
<p>"Because I'm selfish, Adora!" Catra's voice rang out before she could stop it. She paused in shock at her own words and swallowed, squeezing her eyes shut. "Even now, I still am. I still want you all to myself. I know the world needs you, the universe needs you, but I-I need you, too. I want you here all the time, and I want Glimmer, and Bow, and Scorpia, and Perfuma. I just want everyone here with me everyday. There's just… a void in me that needs you." Tears began to form once again as her voice cracked.</p>
<p>"You're not selfish, Catra," Adora whispered, "You're just scared."</p>
<p>Catra's eyes shot open as she felt Adora begin to shake above her. She wrenched herself out of Adora's grasp and looked up at her pained face.</p>
<p>"No, no, no. You're not allowed to cry right now. I promised myself I wouldn't make you cry again," said Catra in a panic, causing Adora to break out into a strained laughter.</p>
<p>"You're not what's making me cry, Catra. I should've known better than to keep leaving you here by yourself. But I'm not going anywhere right now. I'm right here, okay?" Adora placed her hand on Catra's cheek, wiped away one of her own tears, and gave her the best smile she could. "I'm here. I promise."</p>
<p>Adora leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Catra's forehead. Catra smiled, and dropped her head onto her beloved's shoulder once again.</p>
<p>"Let's go see Perfuma tomorrow, okay?"</p>
<p>"Okay."</p>
<p>"I love you, Catra."</p>
<p>"I love you, too."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thoughts of my work, and look out for the next installment centered on Scorpia and Perfuma coming soon.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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